One of the scariest parts about growing older when you are single and childless is all the fears attached to it. What will happen to me as I grow even older and more frail with no partner to help and no children to care for me? Where will I live since I can’t afford a home on my own? In those times when we live alone, we fear what will happen if we choke with no one there to save us.
Tip 5: Trust God with your Future
The financial stresses on singles are very real as singles tend to earn less money, have a higher per-person cost of living (from rents to cell phone plans), fewer options for retirement and health care plans, and on average pay more in taxes than joint filers. Single women, in particular, are literally at a loss when compared to others financially.
This fear about my future was one of the main things holding me back from being able to truly enjoy my single life for years. Even when I was happy in the moment, knowing I was right where God wanted me, the second I thought ahead anxiety would creep in. In the counseling room, I often heard “right now, I’m fine being single, but when I think about being single in 5-10 years I start to panic!”
To be honest, whether we are single or married, we never know what the future may bring. Marriages fall apart, people die, financial markets collapse, health declines, and unforeseen circumstances hit everyone. When I got down to it, I realized my struggle wasn’t just fearing being single in the future, it was fearing what could happen in the future at all.
The solution for this fear? Faith. Faith that God will continue to do a good work in me, just as he promised (Philippians 1:6). This does not mean I make horrendously foolish decisions. I still try my best to be responsible with what the Lord has entrusted to me, seek wise counsel, and plan ahead. But I don’t allow the fears regarding my future to take over my heart and mind. After all, “it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs 19:20-21).
When you start to fear the future, turn these worried thoughts into prayers. Remember God’s faithfulness throughout your life so far, look back on all he’s brought you through. And remember his promises to never leave nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
I hope that each year of your life brings you more confidence and contentment in God’s plan for you.
Do you have any tips that could help other singletons experience aging with greater peace and joy? Share them in the comments below.
2 thoughts on “How to be Single, Celibate, and Happily Turn 40 – Trust God with your Future”
I sometimes wonder if I will have anyone to care for me when I get older because I don’t have kids. But I learned that having kids or a spouse is no guarantee of being taken care of. When I worked in hospice, I heard so many sad stories about patients who had kids that didn’t or couldn’t visit and many were widowed. As you mentioned, we have no idea what the future holds – single, married, with or without kids. Faith makes every life situation easier to bear.
My biggest advice: If you believe that God is good and that he loves you, trust that where you are right now is the best place to be.
So true! A spouse or child may no longer be alive, be far away, be estranged, or may not have the financial means to help out anyway. But we have a Heavenly Father who never changes, never leaves us. Thanks for this reminder.
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