Reassurance that the Awkward Spinster Does Still Exist

Hello, dearest readers! It’s been awhile. Where have I been? Home. Pretty much just at home. For some reason, the general Covid fatigue blended perfectly with my natural inclination toward depression and the tough losses of the year (job, church, friends, ability to touch other human beings, etc.) to make writing impossible for me for a very long time. But I did miss it, and you guys, so I am getting back to it.

A new job at a local library (yay!!! I’m gainfully employed again!!!) that has a weekly writing club which does word sprints is rejuvenating my desire to blog. Huzzah! 

The single, childless life during Covid is such a unique experience. I know parents and married folks have had it HARD, as a couple of my dear friends are now in the midst of divorces and everyone I know who is a parent is barely hanging on to sanity. So I’m not playing the comparison game of who has it the hardest. We all do. The whole freakin’ world does. A global pandemic sucks for everyone (except possibly the top 1% who have gotten richer – though I’d argue that it probably hasn’t been good for their souls). 

But to my singletons – I see you. I see how hard this time has been for you. I see the loneliness and the anxiety, the burden of decision making and the loss of community. I also see the comfort for the introverts of finally being able to work from home and say no to awkward social situations and the stress for the extroverts who have to weigh every much needed social interaction. I see the relief for those of us singletons who have embraced celibacy as a lot of the pressure to date has been removed, and the added difficulty for those still trying to meet someone and figure out life with a love in a time of quarantine. I see the city-dwelling singles who have witnessed a lot of death, poverty, and destruction over the past year and the suburban and rural ones who may feel stranded and far from others. I see the singles who’ve had to go in to work every single day, risking their lives to go home to an empty apartment or to a roommate or to at risk parents, and I see those of us who have lost our jobs so have had the added stress of scrambling to make ends meet. I see those of you who have had incredibly beautiful and good moments in these past few months – graduations, new relationships, new pets, new friendships, new babies, new jobs, promotions, new flats, books published, art created, new skills learned (all you breadmakers are welcome to send me a loaf of sourdough!) but haven’t been able to have the friends and family around to celebrate as you normally would. 

Singles – I just want to acknowledge how hard this past year has been for you. I want you to know you are not alone. The Lord of the universe has been with you every step of the way, catching each tear, celebrating each joy. I’ve been walking through my own depression during this time too, so I might not have experienced exactly what you have but I have been with you in the trenches. 

So how are you all doing? How have the past few months been for you? Please comment or message me to let me know how I can be praying for you, what topics I can write about in upcoming blogs that may be helpful, and general updates on how you’ve been. You are valued and loved, each and every one of you fabulous singletons, and our married friends too.

4 thoughts on “Reassurance that the Awkward Spinster Does Still Exist”

  1. Great to see your words again and congrats on the news gig! You’ve inspired me to write and reflect more about being a single Christian woman without children – who is also content. I think people need to hear that it’s possible to be single and have a good life. As I approach the big 5-0, I feel it’s even more important than o share that.

    1. Yes! That brings me great joy! There are so many of us just living our single-no-child life quite happily so it would be lovely to hear from more of us.

  2. I love, love, love the spiritual maturity, knowledge, and experiences of single Christians. I am a member of a mega church a few years ago I learned that our church membership stats: between the ages of 21-35, 66% were single; members between the ages of 36 to 66, 31% were singles. I would love to design a two-prone Singles Ministry, one part for singles looking to marry and the other for singles who choose not to marry.

    1. Loving your appreciation for singles and desire to minister to them. Just a different perspective that a lot of singles (especially those who are longer term singles) prefer to just be involved in the regular life of the church. We like to be part of small groups that include young, old, men, women, single, married, and kids. We like to be seen as vital to the whole church, and not just shuffled off into our own group on the side. Though I do know singles who like singles groups too. It’s a complicated thing.

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